Something personal about me, I have horrible anxiety!  Walking to work sometimes I feel like just crossing a busy street is the hardest thing that I will ever do.  Why?  Im not entirely sure.  I just know that facing my anxiety head on has helped me immensely!  If this were 5 years ago, it bogged me down to the point that I wouldnt leave the house because I was too "scared."  But then life changed, and I had to get over it.  Started working a retail job where Im looking people in the eye everyday, Im showing myself that I am capable of things and that just because my mind can come up with 57 different scenarios for any given situation does not mean that anything bad will happen.  

In fact it was right around 5 years ago that I had to start making some changes.  All personal stuff aside, my sons father and I had hit a point where we needed to really work on our relationship, and on my end I figured that perhaps getting a part time job would help ease my mind.  Game Stop has always been a sort of dream job of mine.  Yes, I say that with the customer perspective of when Im in there I love asking them every single question I can think of, really testing their knowledge and passion for their product.  So I did an interview (it was holiday time so they were of course hiring!) and completely failed!  Gosh that stuck with me for months.  I would think of what I could have said, what I should have said, and even 2 months later thinking about it would make me cringe.  

Fast forward to last week.  Im walking around my store, I work @ Younkers in the clothing departments, and I see a friendly face who I know to be the manager down at my local Game Stop.  I say hey, ask if he is going shopping and if I can help him with anything, he says no, he is here to talk to me!  Okie Dokie, whatchya got?  He says that he has his assistant manager position open and was wondering if I would be interested.  I try to not do a kartwheel while answering yes  So I went in and had an interview with the district manager, which went well, and then another interview with Taylor himself, which also went well.  Yesterday, he came back into the store, this time with an official offer of an hourly wage, and the paperwork to start the hiring process!  Major YAY!  There was another hour or so of my shift, so when I did clock out I went upstairs to start the process of my 2 week notice with my HR manager (human resources for anyone who might not know that off the top of their heads.)  However he says right away, "let me fill out this paperwork to request we match this offer, and you can just stay doing what your doing!"  Oh my gosh talk about an empowering feeling!   So as of right now, my plans are to stay where Im at.  This allows me to make more an hour, but keep at part time hours and be able to focus on the Artsy Bits  

My biggest apprehension right now, or thing that I just dont want to do, is have to look Taylor in the eye and say "thank you, but no thank you."  He came to me, this opportunity found me, and I do feel like it would be a good fit.  He and I have always had good communications, and like I already said, Game Stop is a dream job of mine!  So today's anxiety is way different than 5 years ago!  And who knows where we will be in another 5!  Out of all of my life stories, especially the ones that illustrate how times change and things from the past can come full circle, I think this is one of the most motivational things I have experienced!  

I have a few more days of hanging out with my son before he goes to stay a few weeks with his dad, and then its on to Artsy Bits!  

Im hoping to get an entry made for the Make Ugly contest, and then my plans are to do a 30 day challenge(ish) with photoshop and illustrator.  

Thanks again for all the support with my Chanunpa Threadless submission, I still have not heard anything back on if it will be printed or not, but here were the results:
Final Tally was @ 487 scores.
62 fives.
113 ones.
Average... 2.59

There were also 124 FB +Likes, so thats pretty spectacular ;]

This will be a quick journal, cause there is one short point to it;

Thanks for voting for my Tshirt design here:  [link]


It was of my Chanunpa image which I'd made about a year ago.  


Redone to not have the wallpaper constraints and fitted onto a Threadless Template:


Any and all votes really meant a lot to me, not only because this is my first submission, but also because this image is one of my personal favorites!  


THANK YOU!!  

Time is fun.  Its friendly, mostly.  Its informative.  It goes on and on, and is largely under appreciated some days.

Lately Ive been thinking a lot.  Everything from personal stuff, what would I like to go to college for?  Life stuff, how exactly is society effected by *insert adjective and noun here?*  Little stuffs, what song would help me feel better right now?  Larger stuffs, how do I contribute to the future of humanity?    Sometimes thinking too much is not so fun.

dA has always been so fun to browse around.  I can remember when I first joined and could sit here for hours just browsing.  Then I got enough courage to comment on forums and deviations and that was all very nice.  For my part the images I was making were not anything special.  But it was through dA that I found the drive to progress.  There have always been helpful people here on the site, let alone all of the resources that we the people provide.  

Sitting on the front page and looking at the newest uploads has become an enjoyable pastime for me

That leads to looking at galleries and profiles.  Here on dA I enjoy going out of my way to say whatever comes to mind.  Sometimes it is a sincere compliment, sometimes it is a random thought that popped into my mind when seeing whatever piece of imagery.  Most enjoyable are the times when I find someones journal or newest deviation that contains within it some life thought or plight, and a response forms in my mind and swoosh out onto the page.  Some of the best conversations Ive had on dA were completely by chance in that way.  

Then for me the time came to start really making things as much out of default photoshop as possible.  What had happened, is I was experimenting with the start of what would be my love of vector.  Harry Potter was and is a huge staple of my life.  So I had done some blends with stills from the movies, and at least at the time they couldnt be on dA.  But one of those had been a still of Emma, with a background that I had spent a lot of time on and was very disappointed when it was no longer part of my gallery.  But, what do we do when our bubbles get popped?  Get an extra big wand, some more soap, and blow bigger better bubbles!!  So my very next image was the Rainbow Concepts II, my very first DD here on the site, and what has to date been the most viewed.  (As well as redistributed unfortunately.)

So my most favorite thing about dA is how inspiring and regenerating the site can be.
If you let it.  As with anything in life, you are in control of what you walk away with

This past weekend a few friends and myself went on what we call a random photo road trip.  Which for all intents is not as random as the name implies.  This one was focused around Des Moines, IA, my birthplace!  See, the thing is, my friend Ashley is a bit crazy.  The good kind of crazy mind you.  There was once this trip where both Ashley and Tracy found themselves in a sort of a photo taking challenge.  So, they rose to that challenge!  Such was the birth of our random photo road trips.  Admittedly, those started out really very random.  Things like hats and shoes from the local stores.  Inevitably, the seed was planted.  Since then it has turned into a goal, especially for my friend Ashley =]  On almost all of her trips now she has a list.  She has a website she is a member of.  She has an app for that.  She has some GPS thingy which really did a good job helping us.  Our trip focused around:

Midland, IA - High Trestle Bridge

Ames, IA - Reiman Gardens
             - Stainless Steel Turkey

Winterset, IA - John Wayne Birthplace
                   - Roseman Bridge (Bridges of Madison County)

Menlo, IA - The Freedom Rock

Adair, IA - July 21, 1873 - The site of the first train robbery in the west, committed by Jesse James and his gang.

Audubon, IA - Albert the Bull

Elk Horn, IA - Only working Danish Windmill in America

On a completely personal note, my camera stinks these days!  Cant say I own anything spectacular for photography.  Having something is better than having nothing however, so I took my crappy lil camera and took some pics.  There are a few of them that I think photoshop can help, so that is on todays to do list

To do List:
1.  Edit road trip photos [5-8]
2.  Finish revamped Rainbow Concepts image...  
3.  Still work on journal for dA

=]

"A'Ramble on, and now's the time, the time is now!"

Why is it so easy to spend time thinking?  Yet when it comes to doing, there are many different terms that we use as reasons not to do.  
"Oh I was unmotivated...  uninspired."  
Distracted.  Busy.  Unavailable.  

Recently my resolve has been to do.  

So here I am, doing stuff on dA!  

Ive been browsing the site all day so far and there are some fun changes Ive noticed.  Somethings that will of course just take time to get used to.  All in all however its almost as if Ive only been on vacation for a week or so, just now getting back on the computer and dA is an old friend of mine waving a happy Hello

To keep myself focused, Id like to mention 3 things that Id like to accomplish, dA related.  
1.  Update my profile/ Update some of my image descriptions
2.  Create a new, improved! avatar
3.  Find and/ or talk about and/or create a journal layout just for me ^_^

Thanks to everyone for favs, watches, comments!!  
Everything!!

There is lots of personal stuff going on in life right now, so Im not able to find as much time for anything really.  Let alone dA, and art   
We are slowely getting things figured out however, which is what we all must do in life right?  

Ill be gone for a few days.
Today is my Sons 5th Birthday!!

Tomorrow we will take him to the zoo, and on Thurs I should be back around ;]

Have a lovely few days peoples!!

Just upgraded to premium again in...  oh gosh, pri like 2 years...  

Complete YAY moment!



Ill actually do stuff with it later, pork is on the grill *mmm*

There is a lot of stuff always going on in life.  This week our AC unit has broken, everyone is having to deal with this heat.  Putting a for sure schedule together for our household over this next year has proved to be quite the challenge.  A member of the family has been hospitalized and loved ones are feeling that sadness...  
But no matter what happens throughout your day, if you have people in your life who you can lean on, confide in, or who can make you laugh even after youve cried yourself dry...  Then its time to take a moment and appreciate that!

Dont forget to do something for yourself either ;]

Hello, and welcome to my story of dumbness.  
It all started about a half hour ago when I decided I would update my journal.
Got a whole bunch of stuff typed out...
Then the boyfriend came home and while we were chatting I start clicking.  
Went to the Facebook tab, looked at a couple status's, came back and just clicked away...  Lost my journal.

So instead Im going to copy and paste the last thinger that I wrote as a facebook note, cause it kinda says what I was saying anyways


------------
"We arrived at Lidtke Mill just after 8:30 am.  Only had coffee and excitment flowing through us at that point.  The sun was of course perfect, a word we found ourselves proclaiming throughout the journey.  BJ has made this voyage countless times before.  Myself, only the once.

After the canoe was packed, the fishing equipment at the handy, and sun lotion sufficently rubbed on, we set off.  Probably a little before 10 we had paddles in hand and the dam quickly dissapearing behind us.

Quiet.

Thats all you hear!  The river wasnt up, so especially on the straightaways its placid.  We spent the first 2 hours Im sure, just gawking around as if we hadnt seen it before.  Every colour everywhere.  Trees growing in fantastic shapes.  I really like the ones that kind of look like one stick, just heading straight up, but with a lollypop like clump of leaves towards their tops.  At some points you can see open expanse of the sky.  Sometimes only the trees.  My favorite, the bluffs!  The first time I was out there, Ill admit, I was too preoccupied with those things to notice just how beautiful the water itself is!

And then, we started to fish!


Something I hope to be fascinated by time and time again are the fresh water springs.  Keep in mind, Ive never had too much opportunity to go out and explore.  So things like an exceptionally cold spring running into the refreshingly warm river, intruiges me.  They do come off as more pristine.  We stopped at one to snack on some veggies and the way it felt running through my sandals was enough to stimulate the senses as they say ;]

We worked our way down.  Curve after beautiful curve.  Fishing spots galore, although we werent cathcing anything...  yet.  One of the best things for us, is imagining what it was like 400 years ago, or 1000 years ago.  People of the land and their rituals, their tools and ways of getting things done.  The river was pretty low at a couple of points, and with that sun having gotten higher in the afternoon sky, we just walked the canoe a few times.  Looking around and thinking, they probably did this too.

It goes without saying there is nature everywhere.  Bald Eagles soaring around every bend.  There was a Great Blue Heron that seemed as if he wanted to be our river mate there for awhile.  We would get close to him, and he would fly downstream a bit more, and the process would repeat.  He didnt seem bothered by us however, more as if he were guiding us down.  Swallows, turkey vultures, even deer made an appearance on that first day.  The owl that stood on a bank about 15 ft away from us before silently taking off was the most breathtaking in my opinion.


Then we camped!

Last year we had camped here, with friends.  And this year we felt it more then fitting for our trip.  Its a little under halfway to Granger from Lidtke if Im not mistaken.  Just a nice sandy island with lots of dead wood, and a pretty good habitat of bats to keep the bugs away!  It reallydoes feel like the best camping spot ever, just out in the middle of a river is all.  For supper we had hobo dinners, although I had forgotten the mixed veggies.  After the fun filled day, we pretty much feel asleep as soon as our heads hit our camping pillows!

Saturday was just as perfect, beautiful, and serene as Friday had been.  Only this time, the fish were bitting!!  The amount of bites were pretty even, but BJ really outfished me this time around because he caught a little of everything, and pretty darn often too!  I learned to do alot more paddeling that day, especially to try and help him be able to fish good spots.  There was some wind resistance towards the evening hours that we had to paddle our way through, but working together made it much easier of course =]

Bonding is really what this whole trip was for us.  We have been out camping together, we have even been on one of these trips last year.  But being by ourselves, just the 2 of us was really very different.  More so then I think either of us anticipated.  He made things easier for me, and I made things easier for him.  Fishing together, helping each other out, traversing the river together, and of course all of the setting up and taking down of camp.

That 2nd day flew by, and before we knew it, it was getting close to 8 pm, and we were not even near our campsite yet.  We paddled, and paddled, talked about stopping at a few different places, but instead just trudged on so we could make it to the other place we had camped at last year.  We knew it was there, just a matter of getting ourselves there.


Tired, achey, and hungry as ever, we started the process of setting up camp.  It turned out that the same exact area we were at last year, had just a bit.  So we were not but 30 ft further downstream on what turned out to be quite a cozy little island.  There were a few weird noises, and as the sun went down, and the moon even started to dissapear behind the tree line...  we did KIND of wish our wood burned brighter.  After another delicious meal cooked from the coals, we found ourselves entranced by the fire.  I had the camera out, taking picture after picture.  BJ has his stick out, poking the fire.  And we still arent sure if we made it past midnight, or just how long we stayed up.

Sunday morning came with what we thought was a vengance.  2 seconds were spent realizing that the sky looked stormy.  10 minutes was spend deciding that we were just going to stay in the tent, and wait it out, but at least try and get some coffee going for ourselves.  But then the next 5 minutes were spent deciding we would pack quick, do without coffee, and get in the canoe!  So, that is what we did.  Packed, and before you know it we were with paddles in hand yet again.

It did not rain!

The Upper Iowa River is quickly becoming a complete love affair of mine.  This weekend brought us closer to ourselves, and closer to each other.  I honestly cannot stop thinking about being up there, and of course cant wait till I am!  For those of us in Iowa who always complain that there isnt anything to do, I am calling a big ole B@LLSH!T!  You dont have to go out and trek the wild for 3 days straight, but you could hop in a boat for 3 hours!  Go for a hike, go fishing, go bird watching even!  Why not take the magnificent things that are around us, and appreciate them?

♥

----

Brief update;  

Just got internet hooked up.
Moved @ the beginning of the year.
Havnt made anything in ages!
Working @ Younkers now, loving it!
My son is about to turn 4!!!!

Hope anyone catching this is doing FANTABULOUS!

So I dont have a whole lot to talk about, but I felt an update was needed;

Im currently checking dA almost daily, and am finding time to work on images.  Although like with the last one I submitted (Pineapple Pushup's) Im not pushing my creative limits, in fact Im really just trying to brush back up on PS and get to a point where Im feeling capable again.  I know alot of people can relate with this, but Ive been going through a huge artistic block.  Alot of the images I have worked on over the past 6 months even havnt been pushing my creativity to new levels.  Ive just kind of been sitting in my comport zone, while wishing I was doing more.  And when you find yourself wishing for more, theres only one thing you can do about it really, start working for more

As before I have been updating my facebook more often with slightly edited pics, so if your interested in keeping updated there as well here is my link-a-T-link:  [link]

Ive been using my FB more and more lately.  While I havnt gotten to making a new wall, or anything really, I have been messing around with some basic photo manip techniques.  Mainly just smoothing skin, adding eye makeup, and such.  If your reading this and would like to keep more up to date with me please feel free to add me on FB

[link]

At the moment I am also unsubscribed to dA.  So commenting on images, replying to comments, and all of that will be postponed until I buy myself another.  

Thanks again to all of my watchers!  And I hope that the next image I get to making will be as wonderful as you all deserve